Integrate Your Loss

“In order to get through this crisis you’re in , you will have to accept what has happened and then integrate it into the fabric of your life….. Integration always requires some kind of yielding – getting over something you didn’t want to get over, letting in something you wanted to keep out, seeing events from another perspective. True integration is a journey of ever-deepening acceptance, and it always has transformation as its consequence.”

Owning and accepting your loss, whether it be a physical, financial or emotional loss, is an intimidating task. I’ve spent so much time dwelling, denying and trying to gloss over every loss I’ve experienced lately, there is no denying that grinning and bearing it played a toll on my body physically and emotionally. I was so focused on believing I could either bring back my loss, or I would be lost too, that I couldn’t see my ‘life ship’ capsizing.  What I didn’t realize was that it was less tiresome to let go, and accept what had happened.

You must tell yourself the truth about what has happened. Yes, I did cause that accident because I was texting. Yes, I drank too much and ran my mouth. Yes, I did lose half my fortune. Yes, the man I was in love with has gone off and married someone else.  Yes, my best friend has died. (Not all of these have happened to me personally. You get the idea…)

“Owning it means ‘getting it’ that there’s no going back. Whatever happened was not a preview, a joke, or a rehearsal. It is now a part of you and your story, and it’s not going to change. “

What I realize is this opportunity for transformation… and am open to receiving it’s meaning.  No matter how many steps backwards I’ve had to take in this short time. It feels so exhilarating to be okay with exactly where I am today. The “fake it till you make it” days are in the past because I’d say this feels a lot like “making it……..”