Integrate Your Loss

“In order to get through this crisis you’re in , you will have to accept what has happened and then integrate it into the fabric of your life….. Integration always requires some kind of yielding – getting over something you didn’t want to get over, letting in something you wanted to keep out, seeing events from another perspective. True integration is a journey of ever-deepening acceptance, and it always has transformation as its consequence.”

Owning and accepting your loss, whether it be a physical, financial or emotional loss, is an intimidating task. I’ve spent so much time dwelling, denying and trying to gloss over every loss I’ve experienced lately, there is no denying that grinning and bearing it played a toll on my body physically and emotionally. I was so focused on believing I could either bring back my loss, or I would be lost too, that I couldn’t see my ‘life ship’ capsizing.  What I didn’t realize was that it was less tiresome to let go, and accept what had happened.

You must tell yourself the truth about what has happened. Yes, I did cause that accident because I was texting. Yes, I drank too much and ran my mouth. Yes, I did lose half my fortune. Yes, the man I was in love with has gone off and married someone else.  Yes, my best friend has died. (Not all of these have happened to me personally. You get the idea…)

“Owning it means ‘getting it’ that there’s no going back. Whatever happened was not a preview, a joke, or a rehearsal. It is now a part of you and your story, and it’s not going to change. “

What I realize is this opportunity for transformation… and am open to receiving it’s meaning.  No matter how many steps backwards I’ve had to take in this short time. It feels so exhilarating to be okay with exactly where I am today. The “fake it till you make it” days are in the past because I’d say this feels a lot like “making it……..”

Remember Who You've Always Been

"Who you are now is who you've always been. You didn't wake up today as somebody else. You are a single, talented, rare, unrepeatable human being. There is something at your core that's unique to you, that always has been and always will be.....It has carried you through every day of the year, every year of your life, and it is what will sustain you now."

What is your Signature Strength?  

This strength isn't how strong you are physically, on the outside, with those big muscles you walk around with. This isn't a test of strength or pain tolerence. (Because mine is very low if Friday's tattoo is a testament of that).
No, your Signature Strength is your personal power. The one thing that sustains you. It's what defines you, and in times of crisis, it is what will carry you through. It is the creative way of how you respond to life that is unique to you. Your signature strength helps you solve the riddles of life.

While I was reading chapter 5 of The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart, my Signature Strength eluded me. I still can't put it in words, but my response to life has always been to "just keep going." Once I realized this world isn't stopping for my tears, it became easier to pick up the pieces, learn from the experience, and just keep going. What else can you do? You can catch the curve balls, you can "let go," and you can See Karyn Run.

Remember, your SS is a habit of mind or conviction. Here are some ideas to help start to find your own.
-Are you a survivor? Able to get through any crisis on the brighter side?
-Do you endure no matter what?
-Is it your ability to analyze things?
-To be thrifty no matter what your circumstances?
-to look at life from an upside-down or inside-out point of view?
-Maybe it is the ability to organize, to keep things in 'just the right order.'
-Is it your focus?
-Can you read energy?
-Empathize?
-Perhaps your ability to make friends?

Whatever you come to know as your Signature Strength, grab on to it and connect with it. You're going to need it.

"In each of us there is a unique, powerful impulse, a way we always engage with life that is utterly consistent with who we are at the core."

The universe continues to test my ability to stay this positive. I am in need more than ever to connect with what I've come to know as my Signature Strength. It is difficult to see the good at times when the layer of bad is so deep, but instead of falling to my knees, I must live my personal power.

"Crisis is a challenge to express your strengths at their highest arc, which is when you also are at your most beautiful.




 

Favorite Dad-isms

-It's not THAT bad

-WHAT!

-Let's have a beer and think about it

-Ohhh, my baby girl

-16-32!!!

-Nawwwwww

Today, we would be sitting in the garage with the door up, the green light on, and a beer in hand celebrating Dad's 63rd birthday. Some people would stop by, Uncle Dennis, Ken Rose, John Brooks, Aunt Donna and Uncle Russell, Billy, Chris, Bill, Elycia..... and a bunch of others I don't even know the names of but seen there plenty. Dad was a man of very little words but incredibly social. Love and Miss you.

Have a favorite story, or Ken saying?? Please share in comments. Would love to hear it.